冷笑话

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.

Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.

Why are elevator jokes so good? They work on so many levels.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.

Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.

Why was the math lecture so long? The professor kept going off on a tangent.

Why don't they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.

Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.

Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.

Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

Why don't bananas ever get lonely? Because they hang out in bunches.

Why did the barber win the race? He knew all the shortcuts.

What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

Why did the stadium get hot after the game? Because all the fans left.

Why did the pirate go to the party? He wanted to shake his booty.

Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets.

Why did the music teacher go to jail? Because she got caught with a minor.

Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

Why did the baker go to therapy? He couldn't find his inner peace.

Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because they are too transparent.

Why did the math teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.

Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice.

Why did the inventor cross the road? To get to the other idea.

Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crummy.

Why did the clock go to therapy? It had too many issues with its ticks.

Why did the tree go to school? It wanted to branch out.